STAR For Adult Attachment Disorder and Relationship Problems
FOR FIRST-TIME VISITORS
Why Take STAR
Your STAR Experience
The STAR Process
What Graduates Say About STAR
The Value of a Personal Growth Retreat
STAR Staff
FOR THERAPISTS
Message from the Director
What Therapists Say About STAR
Inside the STAR Process
Why Therapists Choose STAR
STAR Staff
SPECIAL TOPICS
Addictions and Recovery
Attachment Disorder and Relationship Problems
Attacking Anxiety and Depression
Grief Recovery
Childhood Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress
Personal Growth
The number one reason individuals seek therapy is due to problems with relationships. These problems may surface at home, at work, or in partnerships, or as a generalized feeling of not belonging and never fitting in. The most widely known attachment disorder is popularly known as co-dependency.
For many years, attachment disorders were specifically associated
with children. There is a growing recognition, however, that
this diagnosis
is a common issue for adults as well. Simply put, early experiences
with primary caretakers form an internal template that may
exert a powerful
unconscious influence on adult relationships. When first relationships
were safe and loving, we grew up knowing how to connect to others in
a healthy positive way. When early connections were hurtful,
broken, threatening,
neglectful, or absent of simple acceptance, care, and safety, our capacity
to form healthy relationships was compromised. As adults, we may cling
with suffocating co-dependent neediness, or play come here/go away.
We may develop a fearful persona of anger and hostility that
keeps others
away. We may live life superficially on a safe intellectual level unable
to access our true emotions. While these patterns may have helped us
survive as children and often represented our best efforts
to keep ourselves safe,
in adulthood they often leave us isolated and wanting to be loved,
but never truly trusting our connections with others. Ultimately,
we live in
a world of incomplete or broken bonds and loneliness.
At STAR we have developed therapeutic methods to address these problems
and confront core hurts and fears in order to trust opening our hearts
again. The STAR program creates the safety for this opening and offers
valuable tools for empowering participants to develop healthy relationships
without sacrificing personal needs for self-respect and integrity.
As old negative patterns of feeling and thinking are transformed,
we can escape
the dysfunctional polarities of clinging dependence or stoic independence,
and move toward the sound state of interdependence. We were not designed
to live apart; no man or woman is an island. With the intelligent
and loving support that STAR provides, we can begin to heal
the past and
invite love
and the joy of genuine intimacy back into our lives.
As an attachment therapist and STAR graduate,
I know that through the deep early work at STAR, the participant begins
to remember and resolve
the mysteries encountered in relationship—to self, to other, to community,
and to environment. This validating information helps to foster compassionate
understanding and fill in the blanks in the attachment continuum.
Susan L. Love, M.A., M.F.T.
Oakland, CA
Post-Adoption and Attachment Therapy
For reading recommendations go to:
FOR
FIRST-TIME VISITORS | FOR THERAPISTS
BOARD
OF DIRECTORS | ADVISORY BOARD
WHAT'S NEW | FAQ | SCHEDULE | CONTACT
US | RELATED SITES
FOR FIRST-TIME VISITORS | FOR THERAPISTS
BOARD OF DIRECTORS | ADVISORY BOARD
WHAT'S NEW | FAQ | SCHEDULE | CONTACT
US | RELATED SITES
 |
P.O. Box 516 Geyserville, CA 95441 (888) 857-STAR * (707) 857-3359 Fax: (707) 857-3764 E-mail: starfoundation@pobox.com |