A Look at STAR in Transition
STAR Foundation Newsletter
A Look At STAR In Transition
by Vilma Ginzberg
Nearly a quarter-century ago, a courageous but troubled woman in the prime of her years, who called herself “just a Palo Alto housewife,” took the then-difficult road of believing what her intuitive guidance led her to understand about the unusual experiences she was having. Thus came about Barbara Findeisen’s odyssey into the uncharted world of pre- and perinatal psychology. Just as Freud had done in the first quarter of last century in laying the foundations of his theories on his courageous and relentless analysis of his own dreams and other unconscious experiences, so at the end of the same century did Barbara lead the way in exploring the realms of the perinatal universe by examining and owning her own perinatal experiences. Both pioneers flew in the face of traditional and professional wisdom of their times. Both were lonely in their dedication for awhile. Each found a very small handful of colleagues with whom to share their insights without being derided. Each courageously, under the circumstances, began cautiously to apply their findings and understandings to their work with selected clients.
Freud’s work spawned psychoanalysis, indeed all of the psychotherapies. Barbara’s work spawned STAR, and who knows what in the future.
Pioneers, almost by definition, shift our focus, deepen our understanding, and open up new worlds of insight. We heap upon them great personalized importance, where they become blank screens for ourprojections onto them, our scrutiny of them, or our adoration or hatred of them. These are usually unwelcome burdens to bear for such mortals who were simply following their destiny, doing their work.
If you get this newsletter, you know that STAR is in transition. You know that Barbara has been, for awhile now, grooming Sandra as her co-leader of STAR intensives, and hoping and planning for a future of STAR larger than she alone could handle. And it is also obvious that, for many of us, the idea of a STAR workshop without Barbara’s presence engenders anxiety and perhaps protest or fears of abandonment.
All of us who are beneficiaries of Barbara’s gifts (usually in the form of our own profound understanding learned in STAR) also know, if we learned those early lessons well, that the rest of the job is done by our own continuing work. We know that nothing that lives stays the same for long. We know that change, growth, and transformation are the name of the game. If we pay attention, we can tell the difference between PI (Essence)-driven experiences and P2 (Shadow)-driven experiences. We can distinguish between reacting from fear and responding from love. Because of STAR, we know these things in our bones, from our guts, in our hearts. We understand that if we overreact to change out there, it is from fear in here. And we have the tools to track it down, to heal it, to not let it run our lives, to not let it ruin our participation.
Let’s look at this in our own language. Barbara gave birth to STAR, as we know it. For the majority of us, she was present, literally, at our personal STAR-birth, whatever that may have been for us. To continue in this metaphor, in some hazy recesses of our experience, she may have become our “good” mother, from whom we learned the real scoop about our lives and ourselves. In some way, even our readers were not so much our “parent” as some older brother or sister, also “born” of Barbara earlier, who sort of “raised us” during STAR, with “Mom’s” guidance. And we can’t imagine the “family” without “Mom”! It will never be the same, it-will never be as good, it will never be as loving, it will never be... and on and on.
Of course, one option can be to end it. Many good ideas, good movements, have died along with their charismatic leaders— Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Camelot. This happens mainly when followers cannot see that a leader’s work is a separate, living organism, that the work is not the person, that the work is larger than the person, that it has merely been birthed by the person and can and should, if it is worthy, have a life of its own.
Freud’s early courageous work has been changed, developed, transformed, still generates honest controversy, but outlives him—Barbara’s work can too!
With apologies and gratitude to Robert Fulghum, ALL THE THINGS WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STAR’S TRANSITIONS WE LEARNEDIN STAR:
• My mother birthed me. I am not my mother. I can honor my mother for her gifts to me, and also live my own good life.
• If I stand in love rather than in fear, I can better handle whatever change happens. Whether change is positive or negative depends on where I am coming from.
• Healing is always possible, in myself and in the world.
• “Mother” herself (Barbara) never sits still; she constantly changes, learns, grows, moves, experiments, modeling that for STAR and for us.
• Trust. Maybe not everything or everyone, but I can trust the best in myself: my PI (Essence), my loving spirit, my loved Child. I cannot then go wrong. I will not be afraid. I can then be a healed and generous participant in the transformation.
Barbara, I FORGIVE you (for not fulfilling all my fantasies).
Barbara, I THANK and BLESS you (for the gifts your genius bestowed upon me).
Barbara, I RELEASE you (to your own journey and destiny).
VIVA STAR!
